DISCOVERING VALUES Individual Therapy

"No thanks, I don't need a husband yet"

I was in a good mood for therapy today. I spent time thinking all week about what was the most effective topics to discuss. I feel I have found my drive this week for recovery which I lost for a while after Christmas. I have accepted it though and learnt that lack of motivation sometimes is part of the process. 

I finally brought up the topic of romantic relationships. I have somehow managed once again to get caught up in a relationship when it is the last thing that I need or want at the moment. I have not been sticking to my values with regards to learning how to stand on my own two feet. I have allowed this boy to sweep me off my feet, when I do not even have feelings for him. I am going out to pubs and drinking when I had sworn to myself not to while in therapy.

Don't lose yourself in attempt to hold on to someone.

So I blurted all this out in the session today, we thrashed it out, discussed  the value of a relationship with him, and got to the rot of the problem. I need to learn how to say no. 

To my horror we did a role play. First she played me and said how to end the complication in an effective way. Then we switched and I rehearsed what she had said. It took a few tries before I felt right saying it.

We decided to tell him that I was in treatment at the moment and because of this I was not in a position to be with anyone, and that I really hoped we could still hang out as friends. we agreed that I would wait until next week to tell him as I had already committed to attend the University Ball with him this Saturday.

In other news, but still on the skill of VALUES. I realized that I have a gaping hole in this part of my life. I list education as my number one most important value and yet am not doing anything to fulfill it. So, while I have some motivation, I used it to book a week long creative writing course one of the major Universities in Dublin. I really can't wait to do it!