Let me eat more Prozac

I am all motivated today. Maybe its the increase in medication. I saw my Consultant Psychiatrist yesterday morning and we agreed that I have been tolerating the 20mg of  Prozac (Fluoxetine) well enough for the last two months to double the dose to 40mg. The plan is to gradually get up to 60mg which is the evidence based dosage for bulimia nervosa. According to Healy D (2004) Let them eat Prozac. New York: New York University Press. pp 124–148.

"Fluoxetine dramatically, by 40-50%, decreased the frequency of panic attacks in two controlled trials of panic disorder patients. In three double-blind trials, fluoxetine significantly decreased the number of binge-eating and purging episodes of bulimia nervosa. Continued year-long treatment of the patients, who originally responded to fluoxetine, was more effective than placebo for the prevention of bulimia nervosa episodes."

I have to say that I am somewhat at ease taking a drug which has so much empirical research to back it up. My Doctor instilled confidence in me that I will see results when the dose is high enough. She described how she has seen it herself and has faith that it will work in conjunction (of course!) with DBT.

I feel a lightness coming back to my sprite. As if the fog is clearing and I can breath easier. It is most certainly due to the three pronged treatment approach (medication, DBT, and the right attitude.) Without each of these aspects in my treatment plan I have seen the devastating result of self destruction. 

Early Rising Plan

'yum! Morning worms are far better than late ones'

I’m inspired by the Dalai Lama, who said, ” Everyday, think as you wake up, ‘today I am fortunate to have woken up, I am alive, I have a precious human life, I am not going to waste it. I am going to use all my energies to develop myself, to expand my heart out to others, to achieve enlightenment for the benefit of all beings, I am going to have kind thoughts towards others, I am not going to get angry or think badly about others, I am going to benefit others as much as I can.’ “

Coffee Coffee Coffee

Amazing start. I start my day by jumping out of bed, late as usual, and rushing to get myself ready, never fully feeling present. I sulky walk into work, looking rumpled and barely awake, grumpy and behind everyone else. Not a great start to the day. I am sick of my broken morning routine. Its no wonder that all I feel like doing is crawling back into bed and snoozing for the day.

Quietude is the main reason I want to become an early riser. No neighbours kids yelling, no babies crying, no echoes, no cars, no television noise. The early morning hours are so peaceful, so quiet. It’s my favourite time of day. I truly enjoy that time of peace, that time to myself, when I can think, when I can read, when I can breathe.

Why do I want to subject myself to the wee hours? Simple. Sunrise. People (Me!) who wake late miss one of the greatest feats of nature, repeated in full stereovision each and every day — the rise of the sun. I love how the day slowly gets brighter, when the midnight blue turns to lighter blue, when the brilliant colours start to seep into the sky, when nature is painted in incredible colours. I want to start doing my early morning run during at this time, and I look up at the sky as I run and say to the world, “What a glorious day!”

Rise early and I actually have time for breakfast. I’m told it’s one of the most important meals of the day. Without breakfast, your body is running on fumes until you are so hungry at lunchtime that you eat whatever unhealthy thing you can find. The fattier and sugarier, the betterier. But eat breakfast, and you are sated until later. Plus, eating breakfast while reading my book and drinking my coffee in the quiet of the morning is eminently more enjoyable than scarfing something down on the way to work, or at your desk. It helps to regulate my mood, and sets me up for a more SKILFUL day.

There are other times to exercise besides the early morning, of course, but I’ve found that while exercising right after work is also very enjoyable, it’s also liable to be cancelled because of other things that come up. Morning exercise is virtually never cancelled. And plus not as many people see you all puffy and red faced in jogging tights!

Just 5 more minutes Mom!

Mornings, for me at least (when I get up!), are the most productive time of day. I like to do some writing in the morning, when there are no distractions, before I check my email or blog stats. I get so much more done by starting on my work in the morning. Then, when evening rolls around, I have no work that I need to do, and I can spend it doing other things.

No one likes rush-hour traffic, except for oil and motor companies. Commute early, and the traffic is much lighter, and you get to work faster, and thus save yourself more time. Or better yet, commute by bike. (Or even better yet, work from home. A girl can dream!)

It’s much easier to make those early appointments on time if you get up early. I like making 9am Dr. appointments, to force me to get up early. Showing up late for that appointment is a bad signal to the person you’re meeting. Showing up early will impress them. Plus, you get time to prepare.

I don’t plan to make drastic changes. I will start slowly, by waking just 15-30 minutes earlier than usual, get used to this for a few days, then cut back another 15 minutes. I must also allow myself to sleep earlier. I am used to staying up late, watching TV or surfing the Internet. But if I continue this habit, while trying to get up earlier, sooner or later one is going to give. And if it is the early rising that gives, then inevitably I will crash and sleep late and have to start over. I must go to bed earlier, even if I don’t think I’ll sleep, and read while in bed.

Getting out of the bedroom as soon as I turn off the alarm is the best plan. I mustn’t allow myself to rationalize going back to bed. Just force myself to go out of the room. My plan is to drink lots at night and therefore come morning have to stumble into the bathroom and go pee. By the time I’ve done that, and flushed the toilet and washed my hands and looked at my ugly mug in the mirror, I’m awake enough to face the day. I must not rationalize. If I allow my brain to talk me out of getting up early, I’ll never do it. Getting back in bed is not an option.

I have been trying to set something to do early in the morning that’s important. This reason will motivate me to get up. I like to write in the morning, so that’s my reason. Also, when I’m done with that, I like to read all of your comments!

My three words for 2012!

Every year, people around the world make the terrible decision to set inhibitory New Year’s resolutions for themselves. They often times revolve around giving something up. Stop smoking, lose weight, or get out of debt. The thing is that the majority of people out there already break their resolutions come February because they set an unobtainable goal for themselves. Besides that, if you wanted to become the best person you could possibly be and you knew you needed to do a specific thing to achieve it, why would you wait until the beginning of the year to start? Why not June 30th? 

Having being one of these said people, who never live up to prescribed resolutions, this year I am concentrating instead on three words which sum up my motivation for recovery and self development in 2012. 

My three words for 2012 are ALIGNMENT, CONNECTION and IMPLEMENTATION 

I looked for three words that would help frame my challenges and opportunities for 2012. I didn't just think about where I am at this exact moment. For example, I don’t have the greatest job, but setting a goal in 2012 to get a better job might not be very useful. Once I’ve got the job, then what? Instead, I thought about setting the goal of “Alignment,” where I ask myself, “does this fit with everything else I intend for myself in this year?” Alignment also stands for balancing my health and lifestyle. I want to re-align my body back into its full health. 

The three words idea is built so that you can have something to reflect upon. As you know, goals should be SMART (Specific, Measurable, Achievable, Realistic and Timely). The way you use the two together is that you think up goals that will match up to your words. For instance, my second word is ‘connection’. This relates to lots of areas of my life, such as building a better relationship with my mother, and also reconnecting with old friends and also building new connections with new friends. Also connecting with myself and growing in my personal development by forging new synaptic connections in my brain with all the new habits I will learn. 

Therefore the goals around this word are to spend one full day a month with my mother, text/phone/facebook/email my old friends and suggest meeting up, and really attain and focus to changing my destructive behaviors by practicing DBT skills every day. These goals are specific, measurable, achievable, realistic, and timely. 

What will your 3 words be? How do you choose? 

Pick three words that help you the way a lighthouse helps a ship in a storm. Give yourself a word that guides you towards a powerful new opportunity, and that keeps you focused on what comes of this year. Use these words as starting points for tangible goals, SMART goals that can be measured and have dates to accomplish tasks by. These words sit above the actual goals, and set your guiding principles in place. 

Finally, all ideas are worthless without implementation. There is no shortage for projects and ideas out there. Big or small, none of them will get off the ground and see the light of day without proper execution and follow-through. So my final word is implementation. State what you are going to do and then do it. 

What 3 words or phrases best describe what you want to accomplish this year? Write them down on your whiteboard or somewhere else you can see them every day and use them to guide you to success in 2012!