It’s a reality that this blog has drawn people to me, but it
has also pushed others away. I realize that the “me” revealed in these posts isn't always the “me” that is seen across a table at Starbucks, at a family meal or
on a night out with the girls. I know
that some former friends can’t deal with the more complicated “me” they meet on
this blog. I can’t help that. It’s unfortunate that sadness drives me here much
more than celebration does. So from that a reader may conclude that I am sad
much more of the time then I am happy. But emotions are not stable, I am often undisturbed
by my internal troubles and I am often a fully functional member of society.
From the time I appreciated the therapeutic practice of writing, of purging the spiraling thoughts from my distressed mind, it has been my way to survive, to protect myself. It was actually a former psychiatrist (with whom I failed to connect with on any other topic!) who must be credited with planting the seed of starting this blog in my mind. Along with meditation, writing is my spiritual discipline. Inside my head I am torn with conflicts. I struggle to understand myself and my world, I write because I want to bring to myself and perhaps those who read my posts more light, more grace, more understanding. It helps heal the little girl who hurts, it gives her a voice. Finally.
Wonderfully said!
ReplyDeletexoxo Allysson