Wherever You Go, There You Are

‘Guess what? When it comes right down to it, wherever you go, there you are. Whatever you wind up doing, that’s what you’ve wound up doing. Whatever you are thinking right now, that’s what’s on your mind. Whatever has happened to you, it has already happened. The important question is, how are you going to handle it? In other words, “now what?” ‘

                                                                                                                                                                                       Jon Kabit-Zinn.

I spend so much time contemplating what I will do with my time and not enough time actually doing what I plan to do, living with my head in a tomorrow which never arrives because my incisive worry quells any chance of the present moment enjoyment.

My quandary is; that I allow my sentiment control my day. If I rouse full of wakeful slumber or drudgery, I permit the emotion I encounter in that sleepy moment dictate my plan for the day. ‘Oh it’s much too cold and wet to traipse all the way into town today…’ Ah sure I will stay home and write…’ (That’s a personal favourite of my morning lethargy, and of course nothing gets written!)

I guess the point I am trying to arrive at with this post is that I must tune my mind to the present moment, live in the day I am in and make full use of each precious hour it contains. My goal this week is to make a weekly plan of activity in which I embrace the wonder of each moment. Then I must actually DO what I have set out to do in a mindful manner, just experiencing, not judging. If I feel sad or lonely… so be it… just notice the emotion.

See, what I tend to do and can foresee happening this week is; me doing anything to escape experiencing the negative emotions that plague my daily existence. My favourite method at the moment is to blank out in front of Netflicks with my cat and a gallon of tea, oh I even found myself the full price section of a clothes store riffling through dresses I can’t afford, not to mention facebook…. As I say, I wonder aimlessly though my day and then get a shock to see the day is almost over. I tut to myself how unwonderful my day has been and make a wee vow to change my behaviour tomorrow only to experience an all too familiar sense of déjà vu come four o’clock the next day.

It must end. So I am off to experience the next moment as mindfully as I can and will be back to write soon. Adios amigos. 

Yes I am Still Alive.

Oh how neglectful I have been to my dear readers. I apologize from the bottom of my heart. So far on here I have been as brutally honest as I can be without intentionally hurting anyone, and I guess I want to tell y’all that the number one reason for my absence has been due to fear. Some people that I know in my day-to-day life (including some of my treatment team!!) are now reading my blog and I just needed sometime to process it all, to reflect on how it could potentially affect me and those close to me. 

The conclusion I have come to is that I am not going to stop writing, and using this space as my outlet. I will not be censoring my topics, but I will be much more mindful about maintaining confidentiality and ensuring that nobody gets hurt by what I write. 

From the comments and emails I get from you guys, I gather that having such open access to my therapy journey is helpful. I know I would have given anything for this information before I started DBT. 

Anyway to keep this short, I’m back. I’m sorry I was missing for so long and I really hope to hear from you all. Ask me anything by the way, I have 10 months of DBT under my belt now!!! I do like pop quizzes!

Progress

I get little fits of 'energy' from time to time. They scare me, yet paradoxically they motivate me into productivity. Its like I realize that; all too soon I could be back in the familiar haze of depression, so in a fury of energy, I have to take full advantage of any brief respite from the emotional hell when it comes. 

Yesterday the two girls I lived with moved out. They were students and had finished their exams, so have now moved home for the summer. For at least the next three months it is just me and the landlady living together in my house. I like it this way. I really do not enjoy living and sharing my space with other people, yet financially I have little other option. Call me anti-social, I don't mind. I agree!Anyway, back to the topic at hand; It gave me a perfect opportunity to give the kitchen well over due clean. As you can imagine; cleaning is not high on any students agenda. The place was festering with months old grit and grim. 

The most outstanding part to this idea was not that I found the motivation to clean, no. It was that I wanted to clean it for me, not anybody else, so that I would have a nice comforting environment to live in. When I realized this, I sort of stopped in my tracks. I can't remember the last time I was this kind to myself, this compassionate. I see it as progress, I really do. I know from previous 'healthy' periods in my life, that when I take pride in my own choices and in my environment that I am doing well. I am living for myself again now, heck, I want to live! That's a big difference from a mere month ago...

With regards to DBT, I can most certainly see a noted improvement of late also. There are so many things I know have contributed to this bout of wellness, all of which I feel have been needed in conjunction with each other rather than in isolation.This includes my very successful treatment stint in the Center For Living, also I am now attending OA regularly and have started eating and sticking to a food plan daily, my sleep has vastly improved due to a more structured routine, and I am volunteering twice weekly and meeting new interesting people and most importantly I am making friends and family a priority again, I am resisting the urge to isolate. I have reduced my vulnerability factors drastically by really concentrating on PLEASE. By doing this I am giving myself an opportunity to have happy, or 'normal' life, or if we go all Marsha on it 'a life worth living'.

That is not to say that all is peachy all of the time. I had a good chance to practice self soothe only hours ago. I was at a public lecture tonight in a private hospital here in Dublin. The same hospital where I spent five very unwell months two years ago, and where I received my  BPD diagnosis. Even though I loved the security this hospital offered me from reality, the 'bubble' effect I like to call it, I also have very negative memories of the treatment I received there.

One incident in particular involved the very Doctor who was giving the lecture tonight. He was not my Consultant, but he was on call for the night in question when I became very dysregulated. I had not yet received a formal diagnosis at this stage and had no idea what was going on with my emotions. I thought I was a horrible person, my self worth was nonexistent and I was seriously contemplating ending my life. Now, obviously being in hospital, this wasn't really a viable option and thankfully I at least had the sense to express my thoughts to the nurse on duty. 

Little to my knowledge at that time, the formal protocol for suicidal initiation during the night is to page the on call Consultant. I got the addiction specialist, who, in my opinion didn't know any more what to do with a Borderline any more than a man does with a bottle of moisturizer. 

In retrospect, all I needed was to talk, to distract, to be thought distress tolerance. Simple as. But instead I got put in the high security ward as I was a potential danger to myself. I cried and shouted and pleaded and begged, until this Doctor was left with no other option than to sedate me, and turn me into a deserving zombie. I fitted right in on that ward then. 

I was so angry at him. I felt let down by him. All I wanted to do was get relief from the hell going on inside my mind. I needed someone to explain what was happening to me. I needed validation that at that time suicide was the only coping method I possessed. 

So to get back to the present moment, I was taken aback when  this Dr strolled up to the podium and began talking. I had no idea he would be speaking. I got flashback of me, the bawling, screaming mess sitting in-front of him as he sent me 'down stairs'. Down to where the real crazies were.

 I wanted to yell at him "DO YOU KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME!" "DO YOU EVEN KNOW HOW WRONG YOUR TREATMENT PLAN FOR ME WAS!!!!!" "STUPID IDIOT!"  I sat stewing in my anger for at least 15 mins. I couldn't take in a word of the lecture. 

Then suddenly, my WISE MIND kicked in. "He was only following procedure, he was doing his job. He didn't know the correct way to deal with an emotionally sensitive person. He was making sure I was safe. " 

My anger started to decrease slightly. I then reminded myself that I was not under his care and that I had a wonderfully supportive treatment team who specializes in treating BPD. I used OBSERVE to bring myself back into the present moment and really paid attention to what he was saying, letting all judgement flow through me. I then took out my hand cream from my DBT emergency kit and soothed myself back into calmness by gently massaging the cream into my skin. 

It was only on the bus on the way home that I reflected on my fantastically skillful evening. Who would have thought that the quivering wreck of a girl in that ward nearly 2 years ago would be able to mange her emotions in a such a skillful way! I really wanted to go up to the Consultant after the lecture, to show him how far I have come. I imagined the wonder and pride on his face and hoped he would feel humbled by my progress. Maybe I even wanted an apology from him. But once again my wise mind took the driving wheel and stirred me away from confrontation by asking what I really wanted from him.

I wanted validation and I know well enough now that looking for it from others is not as reliable as giving it to yourself. So one blog post and a very skilled evening later, here I am patting myself on the back, and forgiving myself for the chaos I created that faithful night 2 years ago. I didn't know any other way to manage my emotions. Thank God I do now. 

Darkness into Light....

My Father and I took part in the Pieta House Darkness into Light 5K this morning. The walk is a really beautiful way to bring people together in support of their work. Pieta House is in existence since 2005, and has helped guide over 4000 individuals including myself out of dark times. The walk kicked off at 4am at different locations around Ireland,  and you can find more information on their website. 

I am reminded of the wonderful Sylvia Plath, whose walk didn't find the way back to light. We have been gifted with her many words. They stay with us. 

"I love people. Everybody. I love them, I think, as a stamp collector loves his collection. Every story, every incident, every bit of conversation is raw material for me. My love's not impersonal yet not wholly subjective either. I would like to be everyone, a cripple, a dying man, a whore, and then come back to write about my thoughts, my emotions, as that person. But I am not omniscient. I have to live my life, and it is the only one I'll ever have. And you cannot regard your own life with objective curiosity all the time..."

Taken from The Unabridged Journals of Sylvia Plath.

Scared Shitless

Today started out with scary thoughts, insidious negative thoughts which infested my mind. I have a social welfare inspection tomorrow morning. I am so unbelievably scared. I have canceled this appointment so many times already. I even let her turn up to an empty house on Tuesday as I chickened out last minute and fled, pretending that I didn't know about the meeting.

Why I am so terrified? I have no idea. I cannot for the life of me figure out a plausible reason. I did a chain analysis on the event on Tuesday. I am stilled at a lose. So all I can conclude is that my fear does not fit the facts. But this annoys me, this fear is so real to me. I can't just will it away by standing up straight and acting as if nothing is wrong. 

I am confused as to what skill to use for tomorrow. I have tried COPE AHEAD by getting as much documentation gather as I can.I have a letter from my landlady, a letter from the bank and asked for a letter from my therapist.

Other than that I just don't know what else to do! I think I will go hide in my nest of a bed until the time comes that I have to leave its safety!

Distress Tolerance IMPROVE Imagery - Safe Place

Jack's Hole Beach, Co. Wicklow, Ireland

The first letter in the anagram IMPROVE stands for IMAGERY. 

I personally like to build a safe place inside my mind, when I am doing well and NOT in distress. This way I have a ready made place to retreat to when I need to escape a crisis or distressing situation, and I do not have to think too much about it.

There is a beach in Co. Wicklow, Ireland where I was brought to as a child during the summertime. It is a private access cove where only residents can gain admittance to its gloriously sandy shore. Luckily a close family friend lived near the entrance and allowed us to park in on their property. I felt so safe there, it was nearly always empty, and the water was clear and clean. There were no scary caves or strange fish. My mother would allow me the day off school if the weather was unseasonably warm and we would drive the hour journey down south towards my coastal heaven. It is where some of my most treasured memories were made. This is my setting for my safe place visualization.

I find this a great way to gain a moments respite from intense emotion. I like that I can do this anywhere, anytime, on the bus, in a busy shop (I find the dressing rooms a good place to practice it). I also like to sit in a quite church  but in reality, this can be used in any situation. Even 3am in the morning!

Try the little script below to help you build a safe place in your own mind.

Allow yourself to create a place of safety and peace that is always yours, always safe…. And breathe in the safety. And breathe out the fear. And breathe in the safety. And breathe out the fear…. As you breathe in, you can even smell the smells of safety…. Perhaps salty air, or the sweet smell of a flower…. Breathe in the smells of your safe place. It’s so safe here that you can even taste it as you lick your lips. Let yourself bask in the safety and the peace…. Allow yourself to walk around, to be in this place, to notice more and more, to create more and more in this place…. Perhaps you would like to build a shelter of some kind, a cottage, a tent, a tree house. And if it’s already there, you may add to it…. Plant flowers, adding a splash of color. Add special places or rooms to your safe place…. Create anything that you would like. [Long pause.] Create special places for special kinds of feelings that need to be healed, special places to wash away fear and pain…. Create a waterfall or a pool of healing water. Stand under the waterfall to wash away the fear…. Let the healing waters wash away what you’d like to be finished with. Each time you come to the waterfall or the healing pool of water, you can wash away more and more of the past…. Each time you come, you are cleansed and rejuvenated, the shame is washed away. Wash away the pain. Wash all of it away, as you are ready. [Long pause.] When you are finished, step out of the water and you will find a robe or a towel to dry and warm yourself.

Now allow yourself to continue walking around your safe place…. You find a place for a healing garden, a place that is just for your healing. You can plant anything you would like…. You can plant wishes and

dreams for the future. You can plant seeds of your healing. And you can weed out what you want to be finished with. Take some time to work with your garden now. [Long pause.]

And now, find your favorite place in all of safety. Walk around until you find just the right place. [Long pause.] Sit down, and get comfortable…. Breathe in the safety and the peace. Breathe out the fear…. Breathe in the safety and peace. Breathe out the fear…. Breathe in the safety and peace. Breathe out the fear…. And just be in this place as you breathe and heal…. Stay in this place as long as you would like…. And when you are ready, simply count yourself out by counting from one to five. When you reach the number five, your eyes will open. And you will be awake and alert, and feeling safe and at peace. One…. Two…. Three. Take a deep breath…. Four…. And five.

Pros & Cons of Tolerating Distress

I will keep this short. I have been putting off doing this for so long. It's fairly self explanatory in it's title, but the problems lies in ACTUALLY doing it. I have been avoiding doing this for my target behaviors for months now, so here it goes! I am only able to do one for the moment, but I have five behaviors I need to do this for!

Target behavior #1 - Binging. 

Resisting binge.

• PROS:

1. Feeling of accomplishment over skill use.
2. Saves money.
3. Healthier body and mind.
4. I eat to give myself MORE energy. When I become too full, I LOSE that energized feeling.
5. I might be able to change my state of mind and continue my life normally without putting on excess weight
6. I will learn to experience the distress and deal with it in time.
7. Feeling of self control.

• CONS:

1. I will feel the emotion I want to avoid. I wouldn't feel the 'food high'
2. I will be irritable.
3. I will feel deprived.

Giving into urge to binge.

• PROS

1. Instant relaxation.
2. Comforted.
3. Get medical attention
4. Escape emotional suffering momentary.

• CONS

1. Will trigger an urge to purge.
2. Waste of food/money.
3. Weight gain.
4. Self hatred
5. Only hurts me, pain, digestive issues.
6. Does not solve problem

Target behavior #2 - Purging


Resisting purge.

• PROS

1. Will keep the nourishment from the food.
2. Will learn to deal and manage 'full' feeling.
3. Will give myself a chance to use DBT skills.

• CONS

1. I will feel very high anxiety.
2. I will feel dirty, lazy, ugly, fat.
3. I will have to sit with the distress, and feel all the food in my stomach.

Giving into urge to purge.

• PROS

1. Get 'rid' of food and not gain weight.
2. It is a quick and easy way to get the food out.
3. I feel in control.
4. I know my stomach is empty.
5. Its a way to punish myself for negative thoughts/behavior.

• CONS

1. Will damage teeth.
2. Does not get rid of all of the calories.
3. Makes me feel week from dehydration.
4. Dizziness and headaches.
5. Heart palpitations.
6. Gives me spots, dry skin and causes my hair to fall out.
7. Sleep issues.
8. After a few days - swelling in legs
9. Constipation.
10. Reduced appetite which will lead to further foody behavior 

Impermanence - Finding the Dialectic of Emotion

Nothing is permanent. The goodness in life passes in the same way the bad periods slithers by or sticks to our awareness. Positive emotions and experiences leaves a good taste long lingering in my mouth, but it can be rudely interrupted and all too quickly be contaminated by the next onslaught of pessimism. 

I swing widely between the poles of ‘good’ and ‘bad’ judgement, rarely receiving the respite which a balanced, middle ground provides. Take for example the last 24 hours. This time yesterday I was curled up in bed, steeped in self pity. I felt so ashamed and selfish wasting a whole day doing nothing to help make me feel better. I knew I needed to do the housework, go food shopping, have a shower, go for a walk, meet some friends, go to mass, send emails ….. the list went on and on. I was feeding my negative emotion and allowing it to gain nourishment from each moment spent lying in that bed. I was down in the depths of my emotional rating, and I honestly thought that I was the biggest failure on the planet that I should just give up on life and that nobody would care if I was gone. 

Then I wake up today, still feeling the hangover of negativity surround my aura. I dragged myself to an interview for some potential writing experience with a local newsletter. It took every morsel of energy to find the motivation. It was raining, ‘typical’ I thought. I missed the Bus; I was convinced it was a sign. I didn’t have the full address; I should just give up, it’s not going to work out anyway. It really was a miracle I got there in the end. I hadn’t even researched the organisation, certain that it would be a waste of time as I would never get the job. 

If I look back and evaluate the emotion I was experiencing, I was really nervous. Fear wanted me to run home and hide away, to avoid, sabotaging any chance at a life worth living. But being the suborn mule that I can be sometimes, and because I had told some people about the interview, I felt I must go, even if to say I went. 

I actually found the place with relative ease, and was greeted by two lovely ladies who seemed interested in me and appreciative of what I could potentially bring to the organisation. We brainstormed ideas and I felt excitement build up in my tummy. The more I talked to the two lovely ladies there, the more confident I felt in my abilities. I could really do this. They really do like my ideas. To my delight, they asked me to contribute to the June issue and gave me a deadline for submission next week. 

Walking towards the bus stop I felt elated with happiness. I felt like I had overcome the fear which stops me from doing so much in my life, like I had climbed a personal mountain. I was propelled into a heightened state of positive emotion, a world away from the foul mood I had been in only hours before. I grinned childless to the bus driver and sent a barrage of texts and emails to friends and family bombarding them with my good news. 

Now that the initial exhilaration of this morning’s achievement had subsided slightly, and I am not so ruled by my emotional instability, I can see how exhausting this yo-yoing of emotion is to my emotional stamina. If I try hard to be dialectical in my thinking about today’s events, taking into account the importance of living in the moment, I guess the middle ground might be as follows; 

I spent the day resting in bed yesterday, even though I had a lot to do. By doing this I was reminded that staying in bed all day negatively affects my mood. I do need to lie in sometimes, but next time I might only rest for the morning, and get some tasks done in the afternoon. I allowed my bad mood to continue into today. Each day is a new page in my life. I can start afresh if I do not hold onto the past. It was a great achievement to obtain the job this morning. Congratulate yourself. Now move on to concentrating on the rest of today’s tasks. 

I aim for this balanced way of thinking in all my endeavours. When I read it back I don’t feel any overwhelming emotion either positive or negative. I just want to move onto this afternoon. I have a focus group to attend which has nothing to do with the newsletter. 

Have you ever had a similar experience? How do you stay centred?

Upgraded Armour. Reflection on The Center for Living

I abilities feel stronger, robust even. My suit of armour has been fixed and polished. Inside the suit I am vulnerable, full of emotions and open to triggers, but now that all the chinks and dents have been smoothed out, I am prepared for the onslaught of emotion, armed and ready with more skills. I feel humbled and so glad that the Centre for Living proved me wrong. It’s not easy for me to say that. I like to be right, but I was really mistaken about the programmes ability to help me evolve in my understanding of DBT.

The most valuable morsel of information I am leaving with today is that my life is never all-or-nothing. Just because I had a bad morning, say I eat more than I planned, it does not mean that I need to discredit all the other good things I achieved that day.

One particular therapist was really wonderful. It’s not that she thought me anything new; in fact at first I found it hard to participate in her sessions as I thought I had heard it all before! But the longer I sat there, the more everything just ‘fell’ into place. It’s about using the DBT skills together, in tangent with each other, it’s about weaving the mindfulness skills into everything I do, not just sitting quietly observing my thoughts for 10 minutes a day. It’s about noticing the grumbles of anxiety before the fear takes over and I loss control. It’s about catching the little niggles of frustration and quenching it with self soothing skills, so that intense anger stays at bay. It’s not about the food, or the behaviours. I need to be mindful long before I get to that stage. It’s always about the emotions. This therapist clawed me back to WISE MIND and is a perfect example of the therapy really working, of it making sense.

I found such great validation in the other service users I met over the last 2 weeks. We were all at different stages of our recovery journey. Most were at the beginning of treatment, just becoming accustomed to the structure of DBT, and still exploring the diagnosis. Some had accepted it, others were still fighting it. Some simply didn’t understand it and hence couldn’t make an informed decision either way! We were all sitting in that room because of a common link. We all in some shape or form lacked the ability and skills to deal with our emotions. I found comfort in being reminded that I was not alone, that there are other people out there going through this hell. 

Distraction. ACCEPTS, Distress Tolerance

Everyone loves progression right? Well I know I do in any case. Today in group we finally moved onto the next module: DISTRESS TOERANCE. Again, this is a nice inoffensive, non triggering topic. This time round anyway. Last time I found it hard to accept that these skills won’t solve all my problems straight away, as in right now! But rather they are designed to help you to bear pain skilfully without making the situation any worse. (Marsha Linehan 1993)

This set of skills is for when in the throes of an emotional crisis. When the problem can’t be solved, or if it can, maybe it is simply not the right time to solve it in that moment. It may not be the right environment to try to solve the problem either; for example, I am not skilled enough yet to stay emotionally regulated around my family during disagreements, so for now, using the DISTRESS TOLERANCE skills is the best solution for me. When I am in a food crisis, where I am trying really hard not to binge or purge, then being at home or around food is most defiantly the worst environment to be in, so some skills might not be as effective. And parallel to that, sometimes I can’t get away from situations involving food; this is when I find DISTRESS TOLERANCE skills really help. I like to think that my cue to use the distress tolerance is when I reach my complex skill breakdown point. It is also a way for me to find wise mind and calm the moment so I can try a solution focused skill like OPPOSITE ACTION, because it’s really important to not spend all my time self soothing or distracting! I would never get anything done!

What I picked up from today’s group is that PREPERATION is the key for these skills to REALLY work, and to allow myself to gain maximum benefit from them. We are always being told to practise the skills in less emotionally intensive situations so as we are familiar with them when we really need them when deregulated. So that is the aim of this post. To put together a list of distraction ideas based on the skill WISE MIND ACCEPTS.

DISTRACTION for CRISES SURVIAL is not the same as ‘zoning off’ when a problem CAN be solved, like staying in bed watching Disney films and avoiding the real world for days on end. That will just make it worse! WISE MIND ACCEPTS is for when you have to tolerate the situation in a way that is not harmful to yourself or others.

WISE MIND ACCEPTS stands for:

A – Activities

C – Contributing

C – Comparisons

E – Emotions

P – Push Away

S – Sensations

These are some of my own ideas; things which I know will help me during a crisis. Again, it is a work in progress and as always I would love to hear all your suggestions.

Activities Throw self into the moment.

·         Reading books – Silly novels, short stories about unimportant topics, Sci-Fi, Harry Potter. NO non-fiction. Magazines, trashy or glossy! Read recovery Blogs, Karyn Hall, Audio Books

·         Exercise - Get active, something intensive which demands focus and attention. Zumba class, Yoga.

·         Hobbies – Music, learn a new song on the guitar. Art and crafts. Writing, blogging. 

·         Mental activities – Memrise.com. Word games, scrabble on phone, Memorize a poem or prayer. Write a poem or short story.

·         Cleaning – Bedroom, Kitchen, Bathroom, Make-up, Wardrobe, Cooking, Washing

·         Events – Go see a movie, a play, a show, a lecture. The Silent Room, Meditation class. Google entertainment.ie, Hospital lectures.

·         Friends – Meet up, text, call, chat, email….. But DO NOT talk about crisis.
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Contributing - Focus on something/someone other than yourself.

·         Volunteer time, Hospital, Church,

·         Do something nice for another person. Bake, cook, send letter/card

·         Surprise someone, pay for coffee, buy something

·         Send nice text, Email, facebook

·          Smile at shop assistant, people on the street.

·         Give money to charity, buy food for homeless person

·         Visit Nana, Granny, Someone who is sick

·         Say prayers for the well – being of others

Comparison – Remember, it could always be worse

·         Compare myself to myself this time last year, a few months ago, even a few weeks ago!

·         Compare myself to others in my situations who are coping worse than me.

·         Compare myself to the rest of my family who have the same condition who are not accepting and coping with the disorder.

·         Be thankful for what I have

Emotions – Create opposite emotions to the one you are experiencing.

·         Music – create ‘happy’ playlist, ‘upbeat’ playlist, ‘relaxing’ playlist

·         Movies – Disney, Comedies, Period Dramas, Scary films

·         Comedy show

·         Read romantic books, thrillers

·         Read inspirational stories or poems

Push Away – Allow yourself a break from the emotion/thought

·         Mentally leave the situation, go to another ‘room’ in your mind

·         Give it to God box

·         Do a guided visualisation on Youtube

Thoughts – Focus mind on thoughts, Take a mental ‘Time-Out’

·         Count to ten

·         Count your breath

·         Visualise STOP! Sign

·         Look around, observe the things around you, and name them.

·         Say the same thing over and over in your mind. Breathe in WISE breathe out MIND. Over and over

Sensations – Interrupt physiological action urges with something intense which will not harm

·         Have a very hot or cold shower. Alternate between the two

·         Hold ice, eat frozen fruit

·         Go swimming, use the steam room

·         Suck on a lemon/lime

·         Snap a rubber band on your wrist

I cannot stress the importance of being prepared ahead of a crisis, and also it’s so important to find what works for you. It took me a really long time to figure out that these things work for me.